Amazing

LOL

    This one is for my Dad.  He says this to us every year.  Click on image to enlarge.  I Love you Daddy!!!

Happy Easter!

(Click on image to enlarge)

Exqueese Me?

    I guess you'd call it "slanguage."  In my lifetime I've been exposed to generational changes in the "American" English language. From the 50's daddio "beatnicks," to the 60's "hoods," Flower Power language of the "Hippies," during the 70's, gag me with a Val of the 80's, Jim Carrey's slaughtered slang of the 90's and finally, computerized slang of the new millenium lol.
    During the 50's, the "beatniks" would sit around "coffee houses" in Greenwich Village smoking, drinking coffee, and being entertained by fellow beatniks who read their poetry to the others or would be singing folk music while strumming acoustic guitars.  After they were finished, the audience would snap their fingers instead of clapping.  They wore mostly black, and most wore a black beret.  Their hair was always just long enough to be in  severe need of a haircut, and most men had "goaties." (I stand corrected by Deek Deekster, thank you!) The women all had long hair parted in the middle.
    Now why do those descriptions sound familiar??  BECAUSE there is nothing new under the sun.  Life is one generation to another with everyone trying to get it right. 

Occidental Overdose

    Did you ever get attacked by a zillion little Styrofoam "crumbs?"  I have bought several Chinese antiques from an online auction site, and they were all wrapped the same way:  Styrofoam cut out to fit the object and taped around the entire outside.  While I am grateful for the safe shipping, I have had one heck of a time with the "crumbs" and static electricity.
    Luckily nobody was home except me and the dogs but I was still mortified.  I cut the tape on the package where the Styrofoam met, opened the package and immediately got attacked by a zillion little Styrofoam thingies.  They stuck to my hands, my shirt, the counter, the items inside, and anywhere they pleased, but didn't get sucked down to the floor!  Now where was that obnoxious GRAVITY when you really needed it??? 
    I couldn't wipe them off with my hands, they just kept getting stuck on me.  I was dumbfounded.  I just stood there for a few seconds trying to figure out how to get these thingies off me before I got mistaken for a snowman.  No, can't rinse them off, can't wipe them off, can't shake them off.  "This sucks," I said right out loud!!  Then I thought, "what sucks?"  Eureka!! vacuum! (all puns intended)

Mouth Candy

 I just had to share these with you:

 

1. Coffee (n.), a  person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.),  appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3.  Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9.  Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller

10. Balderdash (n.), a  rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a  humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the  formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately  before he examines you.

13. Oyster (n.), a person who  sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

(The Washington Post, Joke-of-the-day.com)

Huh?

    I am a computer mute.  A little while ago I posted "Redecorating" on the top of this blog.  I wanted to change it to make it more appealing, and get the ads over to the side bar.  I even copied and saved a cute little "under construction" moving jpg thinking I would post that and within a day or two I'd be done with the updating.  WRONG!  I ran into html and java script and I couldn't communicate.  I tried to edit the html of certain items I wanted to put on the sidebar, but I don't speak html or java so it was a guessing game.
     I guess that my computer had a big laugh at my expense.  I went back to typelists and deleted the items and tried again and again.  No luck.  One time it actually displayed the way I wanted it, but the "link" did not link.  I have three blogs, and after trying to edit some html, my blogs were all screwed up.  The size of the lettering was giant, and the color was purple.  Now, you need to know that I am using a template (duh, like you didn't notice).  The three blogs differ in color and template style, but I hadn't messed with the "main post."  Finally I just deleted the new "linked" type lists.
    I learned a few things, mainly how to undo dumb moves.  Evench (slang for eventually) I will learn how to put those annoying ads on the side where they belong.  Until then, I guess I will have to beg your pardon.
    These blogs are my first attempts at publishing my writing.  Some day when I grow up I hope to write a book.  I stopped growing up and am now growing out.  I hope this changes, but there are no guarantees.  It will be amazing if I have anyone interested in my sites!